whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
