Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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