My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
