OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.