just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.