Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.

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  (678): That's the secret to virgins: blizzards. http://tfl.nu/jgfw
  Replies (10) Good night (1988) Bad night (553)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!

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  (914): Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?! http://tfl.nu/ay46
  Replies (20) Good night (2336) Bad night (871)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is

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  (301): she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is http://tfl.nu/mseg
  Replies (21) Good night (4505) Bad night (1051)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.

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  (781): I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed. http://tfl.nu/ju0g
  Replies (14) Good night (995) Bad night (5086)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.

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  (517): I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again. http://tfl.nu/bm5p
  Replies (12) Good night (7988) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you will always have a special place in my vag

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  (828): you will always have a special place in my vag http://tfl.nu/evl8
  Replies (23) Good night (5776) Bad night (1156)
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  (716): View more from New York

  That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.

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  (716): That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude. http://tfl.nu/2xpl
  Replies (7) Good night (3581) Bad night (682)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with

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  (208): My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with http://tfl.nu/1h68
  Replies (5) Good night (1609) Bad night (642)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way

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  (603): I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way http://tfl.nu/a69v
  Replies (13) Good night (1699) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  I think I might cry.

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  (417): I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully. (1-417): I think I might cry. http://tfl.nu/g5az
  Replies (10) Good night (404) Bad night (896)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I ate you ate to the whole david gray album

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  (631): I ate you ate to the whole david gray album http://tfl.nu/r321
  Replies (6) Good night (411) Bad night (593)
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  (085): View more from

  I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper

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  (085): I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper http://tfl.nu/5ugi
  Replies (6) Good night (869) Bad night (225)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.

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  (785): Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons. http://tfl.nu/zvq7
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (172)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.

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  (918): So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus. http://tfl.nu/cj4t
  Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (278)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"

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  (330): Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!" http://tfl.nu/2ydk
  Replies (2) Good night (490) Bad night (280)

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