Texts From Last Night

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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.

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  (307): I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist. http://tfl.nu/unvw
  Replies (12) Good night (1147) Bad night (1594)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He uses pillows to masturbate.

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  (708): He uses pillows to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/f9f4
  Replies (39) Good night (868) Bad night (3253)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.

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  (708): so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone. http://tfl.nu/y8ai
  Replies (16) Good night (4669) Bad night (945)
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  (209): View more from California

  i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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  (209): i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you http://tfl.nu/qjob
  Replies (4) Good night (1155) Bad night (3783)
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  (+93): View more from

  woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!

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  (+93): woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge! http://tfl.nu/6tpc
  Replies (22) Good night (722) Bad night (2331)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break

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  (301): she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break http://tfl.nu/l0jq
  Replies (19) Good night (5475) Bad night (1375)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you

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  (402): Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you http://tfl.nu/279j
  Replies (14) Good night (3786) Bad night (1323)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.

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  (954): I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother. http://tfl.nu/rbuh
  Replies (9) Good night (2767) Bad night (1627)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"

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  (401): You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car" http://tfl.nu/0yb1
  Replies (7) Good night (2553) Bad night (1131)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.

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  (262): I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state. (847): Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it. http://tfl.nu/q5kp
  Replies (7) Good night (985) Bad night (2341)
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  (831): View more from California

  She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester

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  (831): She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester http://tfl.nu/csr6
  Replies (13) Good night (1701) Bad night (632)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me

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  (309): the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me http://tfl.nu/lgos
  Replies (7) Good night (709) Bad night (1446)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.

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  (904): You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant. http://tfl.nu/4wr7
  Replies (9) Good night (895) Bad night (485)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out

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  (613): Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out http://tfl.nu/hcl3
  Replies (0) Good night (656) Bad night (304)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.

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  (623): It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit. http://tfl.nu/h0fw
  Replies (4) Good night (356) Bad night (851)

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