Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic

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  (402): god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic http://tfl.nu/9rrm
  Replies (2) Good night (1481) Bad night (699)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she just took adderol and chased it w dog water

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  (781): she just took adderol and chased it w dog water http://tfl.nu/pwol
  Replies (26) Good night (928) Bad night (5486)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.

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  (386): I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music. http://tfl.nu/9pnm
  Replies (31) Good night (7909) Bad night (1393)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.

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  (215): I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done. (1-215): I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together. http://tfl.nu/q0m2
  Replies (19) Good night (4831) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.

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  (503): When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning. http://tfl.nu/i94f
  Replies (2) Good night (1764) Bad night (1386)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me

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  (+44): The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me http://tfl.nu/123e
  Replies (6) Good night (1249) Bad night (2996)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts

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  (215): Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts http://tfl.nu/dne4
  Replies (2) Good night (1091) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.

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  (952): Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead. http://tfl.nu/k34x
  Replies (6) Good night (596) Bad night (1823)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds

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  (252): I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds http://tfl.nu/g7b7
  Replies (5) Good night (1046) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.

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  (916): I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it. http://tfl.nu/y2di
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.

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  (478): Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night. http://tfl.nu/09o6
  Replies (3) Good night (985) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.

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  (248): All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude. http://tfl.nu/8z2h
  Replies (8) Good night (2188) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks

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  (775): He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks http://tfl.nu/jztr
  Replies (3) Good night (640) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.

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  (732): I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already. http://tfl.nu/laji
  Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.

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  (203): She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle. http://tfl.nu/9n9g
  Replies (5) Good night (1100) Bad night (283)

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