just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
