I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
