he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
