I wanna bring you to show and tell
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
