I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Pooping to opera.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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