i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
