New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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