I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
