i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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