Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
