I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize