Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
