She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
