I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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