i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Randomize
