people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
