i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
