please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
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I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
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Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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