I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize