can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You don't make any sense
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