The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
