The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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