Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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