So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My vagina is officially offended.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
