its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
