you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
