why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
