he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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