O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
