ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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