epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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