It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
