i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
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I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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