i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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