I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
How's work?
Spinning.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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