Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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