Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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