drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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