if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
