I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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