That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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