I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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