??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
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so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
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He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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