My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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