I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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