Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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