He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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