Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
