Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
