i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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