It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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