so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Two words: blizzard sex
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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