Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
