So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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