We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
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Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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