; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
