He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
