Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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