Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
