his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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