i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
