i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
