I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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